Me dad........

Well its been over 10 years since I saw my dad, it was time to see him again. Due to some family issues I needed to see him, I was told that he was in poor health so I suppose I needed to see for myself how he was.

I visited him today, he currently lives in a warden area in which they can look after him. He has had major heart attacks in the past and last year had a stroke. It took me about 20 mins to actually find where he lived, I was told where he was but could not for the life of me find where the hell it was. Eventually I found it, I was let in by a oldish guy who informed me "Im not supposed to let anyone in" well god knows why they have a door then! After various walks down corridors I found his room, the place was like a timewarp in the 50's. Very old fashioned indeed. I knocked and heard a voice say "who is it?" Never mind the fact that I had let him know I was coming (phoned him the night before)

So I entered this dimly lit room and saw this in what only words I can describe 'frail' old man. When I last saw me dad it was well over 10 years ago, he slagged me mam off too much for my liking so I had nothing more to do with him. I didnt get upset, I thought I would to be honest. It didnt feel like the 'father and son' relationship. We spoke about what makes us laugh and some family issues. He had no teeth in so that was strange to see. White hair (hardly any), a far cry from the man that beat me mum up. Every sentance was ended with 'our kid', which shows the era he is from. I also got the usual death speech of 'Im suprised im still here'

After speaking I left, he had started crying when I walked out, I had never saw this 'hard' man, me dad cry. He was an 'old school' pull yourself together men dont cry guy.

He was a bastard in the past, with me mam, hitting her, getting the 'belt' out for us if we dared answer back or do anything which he didnt agree with. Yet he is me dad but I didnt feel like he was, I will see him again tho.

I get envious of people who actually 'bond' with their dads, you are very lucky....................