My thoughts.....

Well what a lovely day it is again, summer is finally here. Its been a week that's needed some thought! Now Adam & Jeremy hmmmmmmmmmmm???

I tried to get hold of Jeremy (ring) last Monday, his fone was switched off. When I finally spoke to him he told me he was unsure why I couldn't get through? Maybe it was the signal I said. Later on I spoke with him again and asked "are you having an affair?" I know this might sound daft but I thought I would ask. I was then told that he was at the hospital (I knew this anyway but wanted to hear it from him) So in reality he decided to lie to me. I know that his career dictates that he must give commitment but as I have explained I felt that he was spending far too much time there, I have brought this up with him many a time to hear him tell me "well I am keen". I understand all this, but what Jeremy does not understand is that he does not 'switch off' at all. It feels as if he is locked in Doctor mode all the time, I cannot remember the last time he was 'Jeremy'. To be honest I was really upset that he felt the need to lie to me yet again rather than just being honest. The only reason I go on at him is because I care and don't want us to go down the pan in the future, if he is keen now then I am sure he will be even keener in the future but he needs to sustain our relationship at the same time. I suppose what got me was the lie, if you love someone then you don't lie.

When I have discussed this with people they all tell me "is he seeing someone else" now I know that Jeremy would never do that (Capricorns are very loyal!) but the thought does run through your head when its put to you. What upset me more was the fact that going to the Cinema on Wednesday seemed to matter more than my feelings! If I knew I had really upset Jeremy I would be there all the way to sort it, I feel as if Jeremy doesn't give a fuck to be honest. I ring him Tuesday and he is round at a mates rather than wanting to be with me sorting it all out, like I said 'does he give a fuck or what?'

In my past I was cheated on through lies (and that hurt), I hate liars and wont be partnered with one. No one can understand why he felt the need to lie to me, neither can I. If you love someone you don't lie to them even if its tried to be passed off as a white lie.

Love doesn't just end..............................