The day after yesterday

Did not sleep very well last night, I suppose there were things on my mind. I am mad, hurt, upset all at the same time. I feel used like a piece of rubbish that you no longer want. I mean to tell someone that you see no future with us over MSN! Yeah that's right, a total coward, I had told him many times to never end the relationship over either the phone or the net. As per usual it went in one ear and out the other, listening is not part of what he does. I hate him for being so selfish, for not thinking of my feelings and for throwing Prague in the air. I just hope one day his mates and colleagues realize what he is.

I suppose within the eleven months we had some good times, I admit that. We had some laughs and it was always nice to see him smile. He always told me that he would make time for us (I never said me, always us), he told me he loved me every ten seconds (believe me that is no joke!), he told me he missed me yet would not flicker an eyelid at not seeing me when we had the chance. In the early days it was fab, he was full of life and wanted us to work, as time went on I was dropped like a brick. The times we never met up cause of other things, the fact he was shattered through overwork (of which was not paid), the fact he never listened to me when I showed concern through this. I think to this day he felt superior, felt that because of his standing 'why should I listen, I know what's best' That is where it all went wrong, he had too many I and not enough we/us.

I sometimes felt that his life would be ruled in the future by £ signs. All he went on about was the money he will be on in the future, just remember that that thirty grand you never shut up about in the early days (actually about £21,000 after tax and in real terms to start with, not forgetting the 70 plus hours you will be putting in to get it) will never bring you happiness, the only thing that will do that is love That is a word that you do not know the meaning of and never will. I asked him 'what is love', he could not answer.

I always knew he was a 'mummys boy', he was a spoilt child, very jealous of his twin. I remember that time he rang me and kept getting interupted by his brother and mum while speaking to me, I asked him to tell them he was on the phone, he said 'why should I'

Towards the end he lied a few times to me, I hate people that feel the need to lie to others. If you love someone you dont lie (or a white lie as he always passed them off as), he never loved me, the way this has been done has proved this.

I never told him this but I have fallen out with people over stuff they said about him, why I bothered now I dont know.

I am mad about his lack of thought over Prague, he has totally spoilt that. As usual he did not think of us, just himself.

Remember one thing, when you are doing all these hours, back aching, shattered, just stop and think who cared enough to be concerned, who told you to take it easy. You might never hear those words again......................................

I dont love people easily, but I loved you.................

Dumped by MSN!!

Yeah thats right, Jeremy decided to 'dump' me via MSN. The excuse? Well after 11 months he saw no future?

I think what hurts the most is the way he has done it, he had no passion for what we had.

It hurts, I am mad that he would just throw away everything that we had just like that.

Now whats that saying?? **HIS LOSS!**

Good Afternoon!

Hello! Its me again! :))

Slept in a bit today, went to the garden centre to get some things for the garden. God it was busy, took a while to find somewhere to park. Also nipped something back to Argos that was rubbish.

Queenie darling Big Brother is a programme (sure its on over there, american version) where 13 people spend 11 weeks together and you watch their every move. Every week (normally a Friday) you evict a house mate that you dislike and eventually you are down to a winner. I look forward to it every year (sad I know!) there are some interesting species in there this year!

Got the gossip within the job I left, from me spys! Interesting what happens when you leave! Not that I gossip remember!!

Think Max is coming on season again, she keeps hanging round my door and forever wanting to be kissed. Bless her, wouldnt be without her.

My birthday soon, dont look too bad for 21 eh?? *mwah*

Maxwell (big brother) yum ;PPP
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Anthony (big brother) ;p
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What was it like?

Hello!! I am back!! Well I had my first week at the new job and its fair to say that I have enjoyed it, the people are lovely and the traffic is minimal. Overall I am looking forward to the next week. I miss the people that I have worked with from my previous job, spoke to some of them this week to see how they are getting on and to make sure that they are still laughing.

I got my final pay from my previous job and as I guessed its totally wrong! Its a nice amount but missing some payments which I will have to chase up. Why oh why cant they pay you right when you leave? I mean it cant be that hard to get it right, or can it?

Its very warm here tonight, will have to sleep out of the bed covers tonight I think. Summer is here (well for a week anyways!) Its warm!

Oh and its the start of Big Brother for this year. Some nice people gone in, Maxwell is nice ;p *mwah* wouldnt kick him out of bed! ;) Anthony is plain horny, so Maxwell to win really, well on looks anyways ;PPP

Our duck at the pond!! :)
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Ooooooooooh its new innit!!

Start a new job tomorrow morning! Quite nervous I suppose but at the same time looking forward to it. I think the change will do me good, well that and no more (4am) early starts!!

Wish me luck!!!!

:)

My leaving cake thanks to Amie for baking it!

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Scrate day (part 2)

That's it, I have left! It was really sad to go, I will miss everyone on the dept. I must take time to thank them all for the lovely gifts they got me. Some were quite rudeish! Will try em out tho! ;p

Special thanks to Babs for me pen, bless her. I love you all, Helen (up yer beaver!), Heather (even if we did have a few ups and downs!), Lisa (who can forget our Christmas spat!), Kate (the medium who can see into the future, told me my name for starters shes that good!!), Barbara (why do women have long san towels her answer they have a fat ass! oh and im not Harry!!), Joan (will not forget her baking), Amie (I have told you ten times!), Alison (the crossword queen), Pete (no you cant have my muff!), Phil (a genuine guy), Jan (you are an organized gal!)

Lynee, love you lots and put my fleece to good use!

Kenneth, remember that I am gonna spray tan you for a fee! Thanks for letting me lick your hole (in your polo!) ;)

Special thoughts to Barbara (tena lady), made her feel so welcome when she started in Nov and love her to bits, she likes a mouthful now and again. Oh and what she can do with a banana will make your eyes water! XxX

All my love to Julie (Jue), we had such a laugh together and I will never forget them. I will always stick up for my colleagues and she is no exception. Like a second mother to me and I love her to bits. Upset to say goodbye to working together again, keep drinking your tea from your mug! XxX

Last *AND* least is Scrater, completely useless and not sorry to say goodbye to her. GOOD RIDDANCE!

A&J

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Scrate day (part 1)

My last day at my current place of work tomorrow so it will be scrate day for me! Not really looking forward to it. It seems to have come around so quick :(

Thanks for the message on here Ian, yeah was nice to see you between the oranges! Tho I do think that you have a nice pair of melons really! ;)

Oh and lots of love to thequeen too! (no not me!!) *mwah*

To The Manor Born (again!)

Oooooooooh my second series DVD has arrived!! I love this programme, so quaint! Only need the third series and have the entire episodes! :)

Its another lovely day today, was a bit cold this morning, tho I didn't need to scrape me windscreen. Normally makes me late if I do as I normally only give myself the 'exact' time to get to work, so if I have anything to do like scrape the windscreen then it makes me late! Sometimes in a morning dont you just love to push and push the snooze button!! One of my faults is being unable to be on time! *mwah*

Forgot me watch too today! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The gorgeous Liam, keep smiling :))))

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So happy for ya!

Well done to the gorgeous Liam in hopefully finding some happiness, you deserve it my sweet. Good luck with the exams you will do well, can feel it in me water!

x

AdAm gets all wet

Well nearly time for bed, gonna shower and tan up! ;p Then make me cup of earl grey and vanilla, something I got Jeremy keen on (well that and my body of course!)

Seemed to be a bit sad today driving home, I am going to miss the people so much. I think to myself have I done the right thing? :'(

Esp Jan and Babs, but most of all plain Barbara and of course Jue, we have had and still do soooooo many laughs about their muffs and other stuff. I will miss the laughter we had, Im going to be sooooo sad on Friday I just know it. I love em all!

Not forgetting Joans cake day on Friday, god she makes a wicked cake and as we always tell her she dresses so well for her age and looks no where near it!! :)

Max says hi!

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My last week!

Well its the last week at my current job, I am gonna be so sad to leave on Friday. Well seen as this is my blog with my thoughts I think its time to dish the dirt on the people I worked with!! Ooooooooooooooooh...............................

So everyday this week I will list a couple of peeps a day and give my thoughts on them for you all to see. I wont be bitchy or nasty just honest.

Dont you just love gossip!! ;)

Don't!

lie to anyone, too hurtful and comes out in the end.

(does AdAm mean the lie comes out??)

:)

My thoughts.....

Well what a lovely day it is again, summer is finally here. Its been a week that's needed some thought! Now Adam & Jeremy hmmmmmmmmmmm???

I tried to get hold of Jeremy (ring) last Monday, his fone was switched off. When I finally spoke to him he told me he was unsure why I couldn't get through? Maybe it was the signal I said. Later on I spoke with him again and asked "are you having an affair?" I know this might sound daft but I thought I would ask. I was then told that he was at the hospital (I knew this anyway but wanted to hear it from him) So in reality he decided to lie to me. I know that his career dictates that he must give commitment but as I have explained I felt that he was spending far too much time there, I have brought this up with him many a time to hear him tell me "well I am keen". I understand all this, but what Jeremy does not understand is that he does not 'switch off' at all. It feels as if he is locked in Doctor mode all the time, I cannot remember the last time he was 'Jeremy'. To be honest I was really upset that he felt the need to lie to me yet again rather than just being honest. The only reason I go on at him is because I care and don't want us to go down the pan in the future, if he is keen now then I am sure he will be even keener in the future but he needs to sustain our relationship at the same time. I suppose what got me was the lie, if you love someone then you don't lie.

When I have discussed this with people they all tell me "is he seeing someone else" now I know that Jeremy would never do that (Capricorns are very loyal!) but the thought does run through your head when its put to you. What upset me more was the fact that going to the Cinema on Wednesday seemed to matter more than my feelings! If I knew I had really upset Jeremy I would be there all the way to sort it, I feel as if Jeremy doesn't give a fuck to be honest. I ring him Tuesday and he is round at a mates rather than wanting to be with me sorting it all out, like I said 'does he give a fuck or what?'

In my past I was cheated on through lies (and that hurt), I hate liars and wont be partnered with one. No one can understand why he felt the need to lie to me, neither can I. If you love someone you don't lie to them even if its tried to be passed off as a white lie.

Love doesn't just end..............................

XxX

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To The Manor Born

I really love this programme, people laugh when I tell them I like it. Its a comedy from the 70's, yeah its a comedy and years old but if you look closely then you see the romance in it. A man clearly after a woman who shows no interest yet likes him. I think it is soooo sweet and at the end of the series they give in to each other and get married. So sweet.

Whats up their sleeves??

Getting into my last week at work now, I know they have something planned for next Friday!! God I hope its nowt ott, think I will be scratin Fri too, I will miss 'some' people sooooo much. If I am honest there are some people who I will not miss at all, this sounds so dreadful dunnit! People that are bone, do my head in, do nowt but moan, attention seekers and the really dull ones! Im not a bitch really!!! :)

Its been a nice day today here in Ilkeston, there was a power cut this morning so was a bit worried about me fishes as the pump was not running. I couldnt even listen to Radio4 when I woke up!! The power was only off an hour in the end.

Jue has been off sick since Tue, I saw her yesterday, has come out with an allergic reaction to something all on her face. Bless her, get well soon love we all miss you!! :)

At the moment

I am thinking...............

Adam & Jeremy

?

Chit chat

Had a lovely chat with customer advisor over the fone, only rang up for a bit of info and ended up chatting with him for a while.

We dont get Metro up here! Its good 2 talk! :)

Well I say!

Went in to work as normal this morning only to see my job up on the vacancy board already!! This really upset me in a way and of course also had everyone coming up to me asking questions as it was obvious it was my job up there. It really got to me a bit, I understand the process of replacement but it threw open everyone coming to ask me, I would rather no one had knew until I felt the need to tell them. "Why are you leaving?", "Where are you going?" "Is that your job on the board?" I got sick of everyone asking! Now of course everyone knows! It feels a bit like a like a kick in the back really, I mean I would have expected a bit of a wait until they stuck it up. The only response I got was "at least I didnt put it up directly after you had told me!" No but she had told who she could! Someone came up to me who does not work Monday and knew I was leaving!! Makes me laugh really. Already got 2 people after my job, may the best person get it! Dare I say it, they can bloody well have it!


Well I say indeed!!!!

Jue had PMT today the grotty cow! (she wont mind me putting that as I told her also!) Gawd she can be a nasty cow when her hormones are flying around! I was gonna take her outside and sort her out, she needed sorting out! I told her she needs the ruff end of a pineapple up her! I wont tell you her answer...................

I quit!

After careful thought I have decided to quit my job and move on. You know when you get that feeling of needing change, then its time to act on it and change! I am sick of the 4.30am starts, at present they are doing my head in, so it will be a relief to not get up that early again. I will of course miss everyone and its been difficult to make the choice to move on mainly because you miss the 'people'. I know you always say that you will keep in touch but its so easy to forget and this is something I must overcome. I am sure that if I had stayed where I was I would, in time think that I should have moved on. I dont like change but sometimes its for the best. I do have another job to move to so it is not a case of being on the dole, I wouldnt just leave with nothing to go to, that in my view is madness. Its easier to find a job when you are in a job.

When I told Jan this morning bless her she said to me "you will still be my friend" Daft cow, cause I will, I think when I told her I was leaving she was surprised. I know that on my last day I will have a scrate so must remember to not tan up that day or I will look like a streaky piece of bacon with all the tears!! I am sad but I must think of whats best for me, I am not selfish and never will be but sometimes you have to have your own interests at heart.

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my blog my love, we want lots of gossip on ere! Not that I gossip.............

Listen to me

Do you know sometimes, do you get the impression that people just dont listen to you? Its like banging your head against a brick wall. You ask something of someone but its never listened to thus never acted on. Its like a case of "yeah whatever" and then forgotten till it crops up again.

If someone states that a certain thing is not best to do then wouldnt you attempt to 'listen' and change your action? Maybe its best to not bother? Hmmmmmmmmm

Balance it out, or it sinks.

Well bugger me sideways!

Kilroy didnt get in, came fourth! So another 5 years of labour to go!

Triple X as part of Adam & Jeremys Orange Wed

Went to see this as part of Orange Wednesday, I enjoyed it, the special effects were good. One of the better films we have seen.

The best thing of the night was to see Jeremy of course!

*mwah* xxxx

Election day!

Its that time again, yes thats right to vote. I went down to the community centre and voted for Veritas, which is Robert Kilroy Silk, as I think its time for a change from Labour. Kilroy used to be a chat show host so I think he would be ideal for gobbing off in the commons and sticking up for us. I could also see him in the local Co Op on pension day, doing a chatshow ish thing with the pensioners asking if they were happy with their divis!

The Labour woman, think she is Liz Blackman, who is our MP now. She came shooting round this corner in a people carrier shouting out her microphone 'vote labour' Nearly flung me under her wheels! Im glad I wasnt as I had just tanned up!

Time for change, time for Kilroy! ;)

Awwww who could not love him! MWAH! xx
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Missing You!

Miss my love a lot. Its funny how hard it can be to be apart really.

Bit tired today, my back has been really aching. It can sometimes be ok, but god when it decides to play up it kills!

Nothing much on the telly really tonight, all it seems to be on the news is about the election and Iraq. I think we should pull out of there as soon as we can, we should not have gone to war, there was no case for war. I will be voting on Thursday and it will not be for Tony Blair.

Adam & Jeremy getting ready for it......(1/5)
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A & Jx scratched onto a bench!
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Ooooooooh was FFing lovely! ;)

Had a lovely time last night, ooooooooh was nice in every way! :)

Sausages anyone..........................................